Basically, in this post I just wanna get some things off my chest cause its been bothering me.
1.As you know, last February I started an online class to try and get my dietary managers certification.
Well, I had a REALLY, REALLY hard time in school and to think that it would be any better taking these classes was really stupid of me. I have such a hard time comprehending everything in the text book and when it comes to doing my assignments online its hard on me cause I don't understand the questions half the time.I don't want to ask Sarah to help me cause she usually has her hands full with Elah.
We paid quite a bit for me to take these classes, and I am afraid all that money is gonna go to waste. That's a LOT of pressure on me. AND I found out that even if I pass this coarse I have to pay 350 bucks to take the test that determines if I get my certification or not. So that has me worried that all that money will go to waste as well.
2. I love being the soul provider for my family, and I love the fact that Sarah wants to home school Elah and our other future children because I know what I went through in school with people picking on me, and I don't want to give anyone the chance to do that to Elah, also if we home school her it could be in a Christ centered environment unlike it is in public schools. BUT, being the one provider puts more stress, and worry on me. Just knowing that if i mess up one time by calling into work cause I'm sick or having my hours cut for some reason, could possible keep us from paying our bills. Unlike having two people working if one misses work, its still ok, cause your have another income coming in. Don't get me wrong we are fine paying bills with me just working my main job. But because I worry so much I ended up getting a second job.
I know that I should give God all my worries and everything, but that's a lot easier said than done. I know that having all this on my mind and all the stress is not good for me, but I don't what could make it better.
I'm at my whits end.....
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